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To the ten, Jenn: The ‘No Chocolate’ Challenge

CHOC horror, she tried to cut out the good stuff!

For this month, I went for one of the biggest challenges: No chocolate.

Yes, for the entire 31 days of March I was tasked with not consuming a single piece of chocolate.

On 28th February I decided that I would start my challenge early and not touch the cocoa, dairy packed goodness. Thinking it best to get into the right mindset early on.

All was well, I flew through the first week of March sans chocolate. I even ordered a caramel coffee cooler while at Costa to avoid their gorgeous Belgian chocolate one. And everyone knows I developed an enormous hatred for coffee following the late night dissertation writing/fighting incidents circa 2015.

Nevertheless, I battled on. I even bought apples for Christ’s sake in an attempt to find an alternative. And I hadn’t touched those little fellas since last summer.

I was dedicated and unwilling to fail this challenge.

But then, on March 8th at approximately 4.35pm, came The PuddingTM.

And not just any pudding.

Nah uh my friends. Just like the very accurately scripted advertisements, this was M&S pudding.

I had always mocked the M&S adverts. Still to this day do I use them as offhand jokes.

But have you ever tried turning down a rich tasting moist chocolate sponge with warm melted Belgian chocolate oozing from its centre? With a side of some fancy ass named vanilla ice cream?

So just like the soft warm sponge when I stabbed my spoon into it, I crumbled and caved in.

M&S chocolate pudding from hell probably
This is the little bastard that got me. And it got me good.

And God was this darn pudding like the gateway drug to what came next.

Soon I was preparing and baking double chocolate cookies before flying solo by wolfing down a large bag of Milkybar buttons.

You have probably guessed by now that I have in fact failed this month’s ‘To the ten, Jenn’ challenge.

Ashamed? Most definitely. Satisfied? Not exactly. Do I now weigh three pounds heavier than the month previous? Well that’s a given. Though I suppose that’s M&S’ way of returning the £3 spent on its hell sent pudding? (I can’t even laugh at my terrible joke because I, a 23-year-old adult human, have been embarrassingly defeated by an overly expensive – both in terms of taste and pricing – chocolate pudding).

How people manage to cut out chocolate and sweets altogether I’ll never know.

Thinking about it more logically now, the error was truly in the attempt to go completely cold turkey. It just led to me continuously fixating on the idea of consuming a chocolatey treat.

Due to such, while carrying out April’s monthly cut out, I plan to cut down not out when it comes to chocolate because I don’t think I can manage. Especially since Easter is coming up and Lord knows I like me a Malteaster Bunny and Cadbury’s Creme Egg around this time of year.

Or maybe I’m just destined to be a big girl forever.

Would you be able to cut out chocolate entirely? Or do you have tips to help me meet my end of year dress size goal? Feel free to leave a comment or tweet me over on @Fuzzable.

Written by Jenn

still irish. still a psychology grad and nctj accredited journalist. still hopeful that caroline flack will marry me. ew i'm 23 now.

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