This year is flying by, and I want to achieve a lot this year. I sort of wonder how 2017 has started off so good yet also bad to a certain aspect.
Can I just be happy the rest of the year? I’ve wasted too much time caring about other people, and that’s always left me with a broken heart. That’s funny though, isn’t it? The people who care the most get hurt more than those who seriously don’t care. I know that I’ve struggled to be happy throughout these first two months, but I’ve faced stuff that I won’t let me be held back anymore. It has also changed me, making me realise that some people really don’t care about how much they can hurt others.
I have a lot I want to gain from 2017, but I think happiness is the main thing. Another thing, closure. I want closure from something that happened a while back. I mean, I just want answers. There is nothing more I want than the opportunity to have these questions answered. I want a goodbye too, allow me to get a goodbye from the person I want it from. A proper goodbye.
I thought I would get closure in 2016, I thought it only natural. But it didn’t happen and all this time later, here I am still waiting. The thought of getting closure breaks my heart though, because it means the end of something. In effect, that’s what closure is right? It would be the end of a main chapter in my life, but if I’m honest, I think the chapter ended in the middle of a sentence. That sentence is incomplete and needs to be finished.
What else can 2017 bring me? Well, I’ve mentioned being happy. But I mean, please let me be really happy. I want to do spontaneous things this year, things I’ve never done and I want to experience loads of new things.
I’m prepared to work harder than ever before. Please make something good come of my hard work, I want to show that hard work does produce good results.
More than anything, I want to make my family proud. Give me something that I can present to them and say ‘I did this by myself’ – all I’ve ever wanted is to make my family proud and to me that is very important. I also want to make myself proud. When I look back at the end of the year and think about everything I’ve achieved, I want to smile and be proud of myself.
2017 – allow me to meet new people, people who will actually stay in my life. The past few years has seen too many people leave me, but put me on the path to meet new people who will actually stand by me even when things get tough. I’ve seen it too many times, this ‘I’ll always be here for you don’t worry’ and they aren’t, but I guess that’s a part of growing up. I saw this quote and it said that if your not losing friends, then you aren’t growing up. And it’s heartbreaking how true that is.
So please 2017, make the rest of this year one of the most memorable years of my life. Cut out all the bad things that have happened, I just want to be happy from here on in. That’s all I want, and I don’t think it’s selfish to say that I think I deserve it after all I’ve been through.