a jumble of thoughts on the eve of my senior year.

a letter to my future self, one year from now.

Hi, future me. In case you forgot (but I don’t think you will), I’m writing this the night before my grade 12 year. Tomorrow will be my last first day of high school. I’m nervous, obviously, but in a way where deep down I know everything will be ok because it’s just high school, and I know what I’m dealing with. What could possibly go wrong?

But you, you’re about to jump into a shark tank my friend. You’re about to dive headfirst into the world of post-secondary education. And I’m seriously proud of you for making it to this point, for working hard enough and being brave enough to go to university (..hopefully). Like, stop reading this and pat yourself on the back, or better yet go eat some chocolate- you freaking deserve it. You are probably worrying about a million different things- from making friends to commuting to your appearance to professors and classes to boys and parties and everything else. And I don’t envy you, that sounds like quite a list.

We both have problems, and we always will. But alongside problems are awesome moments, memories, and achievements. And I can’t wait to be reading this in a year and know exactly what these are. And I can’t wait to see who I am. I’ll still be me. But who knows what could change in a year. Maybe you have cool hair now. Or you’ve travelled somewhere far. I have yet to experience what exactly will shape me into you, but I know I’ll make it out the other side stronger and better.

You and I are in similar situations. Terrified of the unknowns we’ll have to face tomorrow, and wishing we could just stay in bed. I don’t want to waste my last year of high school, end up regretting it, or realize I’ve gone down the wrong path. This is an important year for me, as much as I don’t want to admit it. It overwhelms me, scares me, confuses me. But I’m going to get up tomorrow morning. And I know you will too.

All I’m asking of myself, and of you, is to try. To try, to care, to love, to have fun, and to be present. Our tomorrows will only ever happen once, so we’d better make the most of them. Stay strong. Try again.

-Annemarie

Written by Annemarie

Overthinker and popcorn enthusiast. I also write things. Find me on Twitter @rietherie
Contact: annemariecutruzzola@gmail.com

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