Whether you’re struggling to get on with your partner, one of you has been unfaithful, or you have simply come to the end of the road in your relationship and want to get out, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Divorce happens – in fact, almost half of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation, so don’t beat yourself up or feel like you’re a failure.
Below, we’ve put together five things that you should think about before you decide to get divorced.
Keeping children happy
Many couples choose to stay in an unhappy marriage for their children, but that’s unhealthy for you and for your little ones. As heartbreaking as it might be for them to see their mummy and daddy separate, they’ll come to terms with their new life in separate homes, and they will know that it was for the best. Don’t wait for decades until your children have flown the nest – do what’s right for you, and remember that your children will be by your side every step of the way.
Deciding who gets the house
Another reason why so many couples are afraid of divorce is that they’ll have to give up their family home. Depending on your financial circumstances, you may have to move out of the property and put it on the market, but if you have other assets, like businesses or a second home, then these could be used to cushion the blow – one person gets the house, another gets everything else. You could even come to an arrangement whereby a mother and children can remain in the property, and the father will still own 50% of the property when it goes on to be sold. There are lots of options.
Choosing a divorce lawyer
Something else that you must take into consideration when you have decided to divorce from your partner is a lawyer. If you don’t already have a lawyer, then look for the best divorce attorney in your local area, and remember that you’ll have to cough up the funds for their services. Some women are afraid of filing for divorce because they’re worried their partner is going to hire their own lawyer and take them for everything they have – make sure you’re prepared for a legal battle and try to work together and come to a compromise, so that when you hire an attorney, everything will be straightforward and hassle-free. There’s no need for tears or endless back-and-forth arguments.
Telling loved ones
Once you end a relationship and make it official, you should tell your loved ones – including friends, family, and co-workers. You’re going to need to rely on your support network much more during the difficult divorce months than in any other time in your life, so don’t put it off or bottle it up. Be open and upfront – your loved ones will understand your situation and will be able to offer moral support.
Divorce is tough and you’ll likely be drained emotionally and mentally – and, depending on your situation, financially, too. But it’s important to move on with your life and use the experience as a learning curve – perhaps you rushed into a relationship too quickly, didn’t give them enough attention, or maybe you were unfaithful and have learned from your mistake?
Make peace with the past, and get back on the scene as and when you’re ready. We recommend waiting a year from your breakup to getting back on the market, as you’ll likely be vulnerable and may cause pain to other people you’re dating, but it’s a personal thing and depends on your circumstances and emotions.
Whatever you’re going through, we know that divorce is tough. We wish you the very best of luck with your divorce and send positivity, good vibes, and happiness. You may not feel great right now, but we promise you’ll get back to your former self with time.