It has been said that friendship break-ups are worse than a relationship break-up. I am sure we have all been through that horrible feeling of feeling worthless and not good enough when a friendship falls apart. Here at Fuzzable, we have put together our top five tips for getting over a friendship break-up.
1. Ask yourself if you feel that you can both be mature and work through the problem.
It might be a good idea to keep a journal of a period of a month, for example, and document any thoughts you have about the friendship. Of course, your first reaction is to try and save the friendship and work through the problems. Try to be really honest with yourself, and this will make it a lot easier. Most friendship break-ups are over something really small, however it just got blown out of proportion. If, after a period of time, you realise that you can’t work through the problems, then, as hard as it is, you have but walk away from the friendship. Trust me, this is not an easy thing to do.
Just before summer of this year, I had a huge argument with somebody I would have classed one of my closest friends, over the smallest thing. Quite honestly, it got taken too far but I realised after a few months, that I couldn’t revisit a friendship full of arguing. She kept trying to come up with solutions so that we could become friends again, but I just knew it would never be the same. Such mean things had been said that had hurt me deeply. I told her that I was at a completely new chapter of my life, and that I was sorry but I had to move on. I felt completely lonely, feeling like I had nobody to talk to. But then, I met someone who is now one of my best friends, who I can trust completely, which is the key to a good friendship. It’s important to remember that things will fall back into place, just give it time. Personally, I’ve always loved the saying ‘time heals everything’ – because it’s true, it does.
2. Do something new, start afresh.
Most people view a friendship break-up as quite a negative thing, however try to embrace it as much as possible. Try taking up a new hobby, something of interest to you. Work on improving yourself and being the best version of yourself possible. Commit yourself to as many things as possible and this will help keep your mind off thinking too much about the friendship and all the negatives. It isn’t easy if you are constantly thinking about things that could have been done better.
By starting afresh, you should really try and stay away from that individual as much as you possibly can and avoid their social media presence. At events you are both at, it can be painfully awkward (been there, done that) so try to stay away from them as much as you can. If you feel up to it, you may be civil and just say ‘hello’ – but if the friendship ended on a bad note, it might be best to avoid this. Regarding social media, you should try and block them as much as you can. Block them on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, even delete their number if you think it will help – this shows that you are moving on.
3. Allow yourself time to get over the friendship breaking up.
A friendship break-up is a pretty big deal. Allow yourself time to heal, don’t presume it will be automatic. Of course, you will be surrounded by reminders of them from time to time. For example, you may walk past their favourite shop or see something that reminds you of them, but this is also a sign that you are getting over it. It can be extremely upsetting, so allow yourself time to have a good cry, because chances are you will feel so much better after crying. All those negative feelings that have been building up will have been let out and that is the best feeling. It allows you the chance to properly move on. There is no timescale on how long it will take you to get over a friendship break-up, but make sure that you do allow time to get over it.
4. Sometimes friends aren’t meant to be in your life forever.
I feel that this is an important lesson. Some people come into your life to make you see a different view of things and then leave. That’s the unfortunate way life goes and it is extremely unfair. Don’t try to keep revisiting the friendship, thinking that things could have been better, it won’t help anything. It could even make you feel worse. There is also no point trying to pin the blame on each other – try to be mature and accept responsibility. Each friend clearly had some part to play in the friendship breaking up.
5. Make new friends!
Always be on the lookout for new friends. This can help you through the friendship break-up. New friends help you get a new perspective on things and can really help you through such a difficult time. Like you, they have probably experienced something similar at some point, so they can give their opinions and views. Plus, you have someone else to do all these fun things with! What more could you want?
Do you have any more tips about handling a friendship break-up? We would love to hear them, make sure you tweet us: @Fuzzable.