Christina Grimmie: Somebody to look up to.
I look up to a few people in my life, both in my family and friends and celebrities. One of those people was and always will be Christina Grimmie. She meant the absolute world to me and I miss her every single day of my life. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about her and watch a cover or listen to one of her songs. She was such a light in the world and was taken away way too soon.
Back when I was around eleven, when I had just started high school, I felt lost. I felt lost within myself and within the people around me. There were days where I’d fake illness to just get away from it. I didn’t feel strong enough and I didn’t feel like I could handle it. On one of those days where I was actually ill, I was looking through YouTube and stumbled across Christina Grimmie. As soon as I heard her voice, I fell in love with it. It was just so beautiful. After finding her covers, I didn’t have to fake illness anymore because I had found a little bit of strength.
I will admit, there was a time, when I was fourteen until I turned sixteen when I stopped listening to her covers. It wasn’t anything that she’d done, I was just going through a phase. But, on my sixteenth birthday, I started watching her covers again and I haven’t looked back since. It reminded me of how much strength and happiness she brought me.
On June 11th 2016, I woke up to the most awful news. It was actually my friend Amy who I heard it off. She had DM’d me during the early hours with “there’s been a shooting at the Before You Exit concert.” A huge sense of fear and dread filled me. Not only does Christina mean a lot to me but Before You Exit do too and the thought of anything happening to any of them brought tears to my eyes. Later on during the messages, she said that BYE were okay and I had a huge sense of relief. But, I was then looking at my Twitter and that’s when I saw that Christina had been killed.
I just sat for two hours and cried my heart out.
It’s hard to explain how it feels losing your idol, it’s absolutely heartbreaking. I felt completely numb. To find out she had been killed in such a horrendous way, my heart was just in my stomach. I was so angry at the venue, at the shooter and then I realised that Christina wouldn’t have wanted any of us to be angry. She was such a lovely, happy soul all of the time. That nature was something that kept so many of us going so I stopped being so angry. Yes, I was absolutely heartbroken but I knew I had to be strong and keep going.
Christina was the one who taught me that.
She understood us and what we were going through and that’s why she was one of my favourite people. I wish I could thank her in person for what she’s done for so many people. But, I know that I can’t and I never will be able to. I also know that her covers, her music and her spirit will live on forever.
Thank you Christina, you were such a wonderful, beautiful human being and I miss you.