Fuzzable Blogs: Where Have I Been?

Where have I been? I haven’t written up a proper blog post since the start of February and now April is turning into May, the uni year is over and my mental health is beginning to get back on track, I thought now would be a good time to write another blog about what’s been going on and where I’ve been for the last two and a half months. I’m splitting it into sections because why not? Where have I been?

University

As I mentioned, the university year has finally come to an end. I know that it’s only April and the year only started in mid September but university is absolutely exhausting! Between Thursdays that are 9am – 5pm to all of my essays and actually trying to get sleep and maintain a small social life, I’ve had little time in between especially because my mental health has not been having a good time lately but I’ll get into that later.

I thought the first semester was busy but this semester has taken that a step further for sure! I have been doing three massive projects between January and now, one a massive research project, the second one being massive photography project and the last being a huge collaboration project with some people I’ve never met before which is an extra challenge on top of all of that so, I’ve been pretty busy at the moment.

Although, luckily, all three of my projects have been about things I’m passionate about; LGBTQ+ representation, helping people and music photography so I guess, that was a good aspect of them all. I say this like it’s past tense even though I’m still drowning in the final parts of each of them for another couple of weeks. But, the ending is definitely in sight which is definitely keeping me motivated to keep going through.

Mental Health

(Trigger warnings for talk of depression, anxiety and self harm)

Just to make entry one a little bit easier, my mental health has basically walked away and fallen down the toilet, obviously taking me with it this year. Back in January, I had a small self harm relapse for the first time since I was about sixteen and I’m now twenty so, I know that it was really bad at this point. In fact, this year, I’ve been having so many bad mental health days that it has been pretty hard to motivate myself to do things but then something really good happened – see entry number three.

I’ve been in and out of the doctors and therapy getting my medication adjusted and just trying to figure out where to go from here and I think I have finally got there. But, unfortunately, other things in my life have been taking a hit because my brain hasn’t been working properly like my university work, my social skills and well, my blog posts. My depression has been pretty bad, meaning that I’ve been having trouble leaving my bed, getting dressed and even eating so, yes, I’ve not been having the best few months as along with that, my anxiety has also been pretty bad meaning that every time I have left my bed, got dressed and left the house, I’ve been feeling really anxious being around people and being outside but like I said, I am getting there. It’s just been a pretty rough journey getting there this year.

Video Games

Ah, video games. I’ve been playing video games since 2002 when three year old me watched her brother play Kingdom Hearts for the first time and became hooked with the story and the characters and to this day, it’s still my favourite video games series of all time. Which brings me nicely to something I’ve been very attached to this year, something that we’ve been waiting thirteen years for – Kingdom Hearts 3 finally dropped and I spent three days straight playing it which included a very fun all nighter with one of my best friends.

But, as well as diving back into the fun of Kingdom Hearts, I’ve also found a complete love for Final Fantasy and have made my way through fifteen, ten, seven and Crisis Core and, if you’ve played Final Fantasy before, you know they’re on the upside of a hundred hours to do everything so you could say, they’ve been keeping me pretty busy. As I mentioned above, this was such an incredible thing for me though as they have really helped me keep motivated and want to carry on with my life so, I’m so glad that video games are playing such a huge part in my life this year!

I also went to Kupocon back in January in Glasgow which is a big Final Fantasy convention that was absolutely incredible. I got to hear two of my favourite voice actors talk, saw some incredible cosplays and got to cosplay my favourite video game character ever, Roxas from Kingdom Hearts so it was all in all an incredible experience and I can’t wait to go back in September in London!

Reading

As it does every year, reading has of course become one of my main priorities this year. My reading challenge is set at seventy five books, although I’ve almost achieved it so I guess I should extend it. But, yes, I love getting lost in the fictional worlds that are explored through the pages of all my books and this year, I have already read so many incredible ones.

I’ve discovered new authors that I’m now obsessed with, reread my favourite series twice in a row and have read so many amazing 2019 releases that it would be impossible to list them all here. Reading just relaxes me and takes me away from all of the other little stresses in my life and I’m just so thankful for books! I’ve even been experimenting with doing reading vlogs this year so who knows, maybe they will see the light of day at some point. Overall, I’m just really enjoying my reading this year and I cannot wait to see what the rest of the year holds for me in that aspect.

Life in General

And finally, just life in general. 2019 has been a really hectic year all round, from university, to bad mental health, to some family issues, to trying to be social, to traveling a lot to see one of my friends up in Carlisle, to booking some holidays for next year, it’s all been pretty exhausting and we’re only in May!

Although the first few months of the year haven’t been the best, I am trying really hard to make the last months of the  year into something special and I have some exciting things coming up in the next few months, things I can’t talk about and haven’t told anybody about yet and mundane things like counting down to book release dates of my most anticipated, playing the remaster of Final Fantasy XII and going to see Dear Evan Hansen near the end of the year.

So yes, life has been busy so far this year and I don’t think it’s going to slow down anytime soon but I am definitely going to make it good for me and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the year holds!

And, I hope that answers the question nobody was asking but me, where have I been these last few months.

Written by chloe

Hi, I'm Chloe, just in case you wanted to know.

I love reading a lot and also listening to music, no, I'm not sure which one I love most. I'm also really into Marvel movies and Star Wars. And, my favourite thing in the world is Kingdom Hearts!

You can also find me over on Twitter @biroxas!

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