Writing about myself, something I dislike greatly. When I first said that I would write a blog post about myself, I then panicked. I thought about the fact I have absolutely zero interesting qualities or things to shout about and people will immediately just click off my blog post. But then I stopped and thought, everyone and I mean EVERYONE has something to say and there are people that will listen. And I want to shout about strength and hope.
So, hi, I’m Chloe. I love live music and well music in general and books. I love hanging out with my friends and travelling to new places. Teen Wolf and The 100 are my favourite shows and The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is my favourite movie. The Star Wars and Harry Potter films are my favourite film series’ and I’m a little obsessed with Marvel. So, now that’s a brief introduction to me, let’s talk about strength.
Strength. I’d say our strength is the thing that gets tested the most. Both physical and mental strength. For me, that has definitely been the case in 2016. I found out how strong I really was and it wasn’t easy. In fact, it was probably the worst year of my life so far.
To say that 2016 has been a huge struggle for me would be an understatement. My Nan had a stroke and we found out she’s terminally ill which has taken a huge toll on my family life. My dad lost his job and my mum’s health went downhill. I lost my idol, Christina Grimmie. Things like this is why I’ve found it so hard to see the good things that have happened this year. Traveled to new places. Met new friends. Been to a lot of concerts. So, I guess it wasn’t all bad but this year, the bad seems to have outweighed the good for me.
Sometimes I question how I managed to come out of 2016. But then I remember, I did it by finding the strength, the motivation and the will to carry on through it. At one point, I didn’t think I was going to make it. I began to think everything was my fault, I hated myself. All I wanted to do was just shut myself away and pretend I didn’t exist anymore. I wanted to die. To put it bluntly. I didn’t think I would see 2017 because I felt like I physically couldn’t. It felt like I had reached my breaking point and I wasn’t going to come out the other side. I didn’t tell anybody this. Sure, I told some of my friends I wasn’t feeling my best but I didn’t tell them all of it. Nobody seemed to know just how broken I felt.
There was a turning point though, I just didn’t see how close it was. November 12th, the day I went to see Over Atlantic in Liverpool. I’m not going to lie, it was a really stressful day. But, when I actually made it, everything changed. It started when I was shoved into M&G and I was standing there smiling for my picture. It was the first real smile that I had smiled since July, I was so happy in that moment. And, it set the mood for the whole day. Whether it was dabbing with Lucy or just being stupid, I was happy. This also happened on November 26th. Again seeing Over Atlantic. This time it was down in London. Those two days were the days that gave me the will to carry on. The strength to keep myself going.
All of us have strength. We just have to find it. When we find the strength, we find hope. Hope that we can get through it, hope that things are going to get better because we’re stronger. Hope is such a beautiful thing and we need to hold onto it. A world without strength and hope is no world at all.
Rebellions are built on hope.
– Rogue One
Didn’t I tell you I loved Star Wars?
Hold onto the things and people who give you hope and strength.
In 2017, find your strength, hold onto your hope and arrive at your happiness.