Jocelyn Gutiérrez
Beginnings are the worst for me. Endings come naturally, but when it’s time to start something new I can never find the right way to begin. Whether it’s starting an essay for school, a new article, or simply starting a conversation I find beginnings to be really difficult.
When I write, I find it impossible to know how to start. I once started an essay with “Beginnings are a terrifying concept,” because I had no clue how to begin. I suppose it’s all because I’m scared I’ll make a mistake. I’m scared I’ll write or say the wrong thing. When I want to talk to someone, I have to force myself to say the words I want to say. It’s just how I am.
Once I actually find the courage to start though, everything seems to come naturally. After I’m able to let out my inner Gryffindor, I pour out my thoughts and feelings without any issues. Now that I’ve written this beginning, for your perusing, at times confusing, hopefully amusing, introducing me!
Hi or hey, I’m Jocelyn. I’m an awkward, nerdy, socially inept dork who loves music, books, and writing. There’s nothing very interesting about me. I’m most likely just like you in a lot of ways. I fangirl over my favorite bands. I read books to get away from the reality that is life. I’m crushing on a guy who I doubt will ever like me back. I stress over school and what I’m going to do with my life. There’s nothing interesting about me, but at least you can read about my own struggles to distract yourself from your own problems!
I have about zero talents.I’d like to think I’m good at singing, but I’m probably not. I think I’m okay at writing, but then again I doubt I’m very good at that either. I like photography, but, again, I’m probably no good at that either. Whether I’m good at it or not though, I love to do all these things. I love to write, read, sing, and take pictures.
I’m currently 15 and a sophomore in ugh school. That last typo was 100% autocorrect’s fault, I swear! In all honesty, I actually enjoy school sometimes. I like having something to do, something to get my mind off of things. At times I enjoy learning all this pointless stuff that will probably be useless in the long run. I like being with people who give me a reason to smile. School is almost a sort of escape, even though it can be quite stressful sometimes.
Fandoms are another escape for me. Sometime soon I feel like I’m in one too many fandoms. I waste my life fangirling over bands, books, and YouTubers, what more can I say? I wouldn’t change the fangirl life for anything though. I love the feeling of listening to 5 Seconds of Summer’s new album after staying up all night waiting for it. I love binge watching Dan and Phil’s holiday videos. I love rereading Percy Jackson and crying because it’s so beautiful, and crying again when I’ve finished. There’s just something magical about being in a fandom. Having such wonderful people and characters to look up to is by far my favorite thing about it.
Speaking of wonderful people, I want to be like Emma Watson when I grow up. She is by far my biggest role model. I aspire to be like her when I’m her age. She speaks so profoundly about what she believes in and she is such a powerful young woman! I mean, who wouldn’t want to be like her? I don’t think I could ask for a better role model than her. Except maybe Rowan Blanchard. I really wish I was more like Rowan Blanchard. In general I think I just look up to a lot of feminists and people who aren’t afraid to advocate for a cause they believe in.
Halsey is definitely one of those people. She is never afraid to speak up, no matter how much hate she gets. I’m often inspired by people in my fandom as well. Two girls specifically, Sammy and Eliza, always let their voices be heard and I think that’s beautiful. They not only make themselves heard, but they inspire others to do the same as well.
I think it’s really quite wonderful that I look up to these people because they teach me that I should never stay silent because my voice is powerful and strong.
I’m a 15 year-old, Disney loving, fangirl who feels passionate about a lot of things and thanks to my role models, I am not afraid to speak out about those things. Yes, I find it difficult to speak up, but I will always reveal my inner Gryffindor and make myself heard. No matter how difficult I find beginnings to be, I think I’ll always be able to begin voicing myself for the greater good. We all have a voice and our voices equals strength. I think I’ll probably write a lot about things I feel strongly about and in the end, I’ll probably proud of myself for it.
If you got to the end of this and actually read everything I had to say, thank you. I hope I didn’t bore you and I hope you can relate to the kind of person I am. Other than voicing my opinions and talking about my life as a high school I’m still not quite sure what I’m going to write in these blogs. Whatever I write though, I hope you’re able to enjoy it.
Adiós for now!
