Okay, so once again I had no idea what topic I was going to choose today for my blog post, all I knew was that August has definitely been my month, or should I say our month – which includes my long distance partner. We’re just beyond happy, and right at this moment, I’m currently on holiday at Carmarthen Bay in Kidwelly.
This place is literally where most of my childhood holiday memories are from. It’s such a nice place there and I love being there because it really gives me nostalgia. What is most heart-melting is being able to bring my partner to this place, showing him where I used to go climbing rocks as a child, how I used to walk along the beach, how I used to play the games at the arcade. There are so many memories of this small resort.
With time, things have definitely changed, some for good, some for bad, but there’s just nothing like being able to revisit happy times when you were a child and there wasn’t anything to worry about. As you grow older, life takes a hold of you, and there are all these feelings you never had before from love to worry, from nerves to stress, from being proud to working obsessively – there was none of that as a child.
As an adult, you seek to push all that stuff aside and find child-happiness once again, and nostalgia is definitely a big help with that – it also encourages positivity. There’s nothing like spreading positivity, and I always churn that into everything I do and to everyone I am friends with, because even the smallest bit of positivity spreads hope, and hope is a very important thing. We all have our ups and our downs, but it’s making sure you pick yourself back up from a down and not letting anything defeat you.
We’ve all been there; for me, it really was my loneliness, and any of my best friends can attest to that on nights out with me when I’d’ve drunk too much; I can still hear myself say, “No one wants me” and “I’m ugly”. They were certainly my inner demons coming out to play and it became pretty regular in my final year of University. However, every single morning, after being told what I’d said, I’d look in the mirror and give myself a pep talk, one that knocked me out of that low-time, giving myself confidence as I knew I looked good. One of the big things I used to tell myself was that some guy out there who is my perfect match, who was me but taller, is looking in his own mirror, thinking the exact same thing, boosting himself up because he deserves better in the world.
That may have just been something I told myself, three years ago, but I waited so very long for this guy to come into my life, the guy I pretty much made up in my head, and it turns out that he is real. This perfect guy for me came into my life back in December, and even though we’ve been together for over six months now – which is the longest relationship I’ve ever had – I believe I have finally found true love.
— Jonathan Currinn (@CriticJonni) June 5, 2018
So, to be on the beach I’ve walked a thousand times as a child, now as an adult with my partner puts me as a loss for words. It’s something I never thought would happen to me, but here I am right now, doing that exact thing.
We’ve had such a brilliant month, kickstarting it off with Brighton Pride where we saw Britney Spears perform; to his birthday where I bought him 35 presents and had to carry two suitcases via trains during the 127 mile journey and where I met his family (all of whom approve of me, just like my family approve of him); to being in Kidwelly this weekend. Then we’re off to see Britney Spears again on 31st August in Birmingham with Pitbull as the support act. I’ve never had a more perfect month.
Right, so, in the words of Britney Spears, back in 2015 “my loneliness [was] killing me”; but now in 2018, “my loneliness ain’t killing me no more” and that is all down to my partner because he “was born to make [me] happy”. To see Britney Spears at a live concert has always been a childhood dream of mine and I remember buying “…Baby One More Time” on CD Single when it was first released – and I still have it stashed away in the loft somewhere. To have a partner to share another memory with, that I will never forget for the rest of my life (I pretty much remember every moment with him – this is what happens when you’re in a long distance relationship, you cherish all the time you’ve spent together), is just something incredible. He truly has my heart and I love him so much – I’m proud to call him my boyfriend.