So, your sexuality. Something you haven’t stopped thinking about since you were twelve and now, you’re twenty and you’re still thinking about it. Thinking about your girlfriend that you are completely infatuated with and also thinking about having to come out again to people who don’t know your bisexual. And, I guess, that’s why this letter is being written because it’s okay to question that.
Being bi has been a huge part of your identity since you started to come out to your friends and family, when you started to feel safe saying that you were bi. Even when it started to go around people that you really didn’t want it to go around, you still just kept your head up and not let it bother you. People started to ask you what it meant and you just gave them the definition or told them to Google it but you have never been ashamed of being who you are and that isn’t going to stop now just because you’re starting to question it. Yes, your sexuality is something that you’re questioning but that doesn’t invalidate the fact you think you’re bisexual.
I want to say that if you don’t think you are bisexual anymore that’s okay. If you think you’re pansexual, that’s fine. If you think you’re a lesbian, that’s fine. At the end of the day, you are who you are. Being a teenager and a young adult is all about learning things about yourself and “finding yourself” as much as you really hate that phrase. There is absolutely no shame in questioning who you are, whether you’re twelve, twenty or fucking eighty, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Also, let me just say, you have such a good support system. Between your best friend, girlfriend and family around you. People who are willing to give you time to figure things out for yourself and not pressure you into deciding things that you obviously need to think about. People who are willing to be there for you no matter what, no matter how much time and space you need, they won’t ditch you.
Do you know what else is okay? Finding comfort in the books around you that are clearly helping you through this time in your life, that is absolutely fine. If they’re helping you tell yourself who you are, that’s absolutely fine. Sometimes, you find comfort in the things around you and since books is your go to when you’re going through some absolute shit, there is no surprise in the fact that you’re finding comfort in the words around you on the pages.
Basically, what I’m trying to tell you through this letter is that it’s okay. You’re okay most importantly. You may be questioning something that you’ve identified yourself as for the past eight years and that’s okay. You have people around you. Everything is okay and it’s going to be okay. There’s no rush, take your time. You never, ever have to put a label on yourself, I hope you know that. Also, really, your sexuality is something so personal to you and don’t let anyone take that away.
Just take care of yourself, please.