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Fuzzable Blogs: 14th January- hi, hello, it’s me

I’ve thought long and hard about what I want to say here; how to make myself seem more interesting; how to make none of you, who may be reading this, bored. So, where do I start? I’m Jaimee and I don’t know what I want to do in life, and that’s ok. I want to be a nurse, but I also want to be in musical theatre, I want to be a fundraiser and events planner, I want to be a journalist, I want to go on adventures, to experience the beautiful world around me and above all, I want to be a Disney princess.

Like most people, the time I’ve spent on this amazing planet isn’t always easy, but then again, who has it easy all the time? There’s been plenty of tears and plenty of joy and I thought, what better way to introduce myself than telling you a bit more about me. Yes, everything I tell you below may be seen as a bad point in my life but that’s not true, these points made me into the person I am today, for  better or for worse.

When I was three I moved from a city near surrounded by my family to a village surrounded by fields, it was a complete culture shock. I was used to people having pet cats, and then, in a blink of an eye I was best friends with someone who had a pet donkey, pet chickens and geese. I’ve lived here ever since and honestly I wouldn’t change it for the world, the friends I’ve made, the memories I have; I wouldn’t change it for anything.

When I was eight my younger sister was born and I was suddenly thrown into a world of hospital visits, and I had to grow up quickly, I had to come to terms with the fact I was going to be let down on many things I wanted to do, and she was going to be the priority for a while. At the time I hated it, I was a jealous child, I liked the attention (can’t stand attention now) but those few years that I spent feeling somewhat alone have shaped me into the person I am today. Without the late night hospital visits after school to see my sister and without the 23 hospital appointments in the summer holidays I don’t think I would want to be a nurse- something I am so passionate about today.

When I was 13 my world turned upside down overnight. I remember it like it was yesterday, my dad had just left for work and it was the first days of the summer holidays, I had just got dressed and the phone rang, I didn’t realise then that this phone call would change everything and would mean that I would spend my whole six weeks off school driving up and down the country visiting my Grandad. My Grandad was diagnosed with three different types of cancer and within the space of four weeks I watched him go from my Grandad, to someone I barely recognised. The day my Grandad died I was wearing a superwoman top but I’ve never felt less like a superhero in my life.

When I was 15, after multiple lies in the medical room at school claiming I felt sick, I finally gave in and went to the doctor who explained to me that I had anxiety and suddenly I felt a little better- knowing it wasn’t just me who felt a sudden sense of dread and fear that anything I did could have a catastrophic result on the people around me, really helped me and since then, I am getting better at handling it. I don’t claim to be anxiety free and honestly, I don’t think I ever will be but I’m getting there- I can talk to strangers now, something which genuinely used to bring me to tears.

When I was 16 I made the decision to leave my friends behind and join a sixth form where I was the only student from my secondary school. I went from being very comfortable in my friendship group and surroundings to being thrown somewhere new, and being forced to make new friendships. It was at sixth form I learnt what it meant to have a best friend- they know who they are, they might even be reading this, so if you are, thank you for being there for me. What started off a warm shade of red turned to a cold blue- I should of realised that red is warming but also signifies danger. I wish I could say I enjoyed studying in sixth form but the reality is it caused me so many tears, and stress and anxiety. There were occasions where I questioned who I was- did I like who I was? Did I like where I was going? I followed the route which was expected, I applied for university but I never went.
When I was eighteen I applied for a job at the hospital I spent so much time in ten years previously. This job, I love. I’ve never felt so passionate about something as I do about this job.

I’m now coming close to my nineteenth birthday and I’m starting my annual decision of whether or not I like where I am in life. The answer is yes. I like where I am right here, right now, in 2017. That’s something I haven’t said for a while. I’m surrounded by wonderful people, old friends, best friends and people who may have only just come into my life; and for once I’m excited for what this year holds. So 2017, lets go and make some memories.

You’ll find me back here on fuzzable blogs next month, same place, same day (14th February). Until then, have a great month!

Written by Jaimee

All round awkward person who drinks too much coffee and eats too much cake.

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