Let’s get straight to the point: breakups suck. And everyone has their own way of handling them. For me, it consisted of lots of crying and lots of instant ramen noodles. When it comes to a breakup, everyone is different. I’ve come up with a list of ways to handle a recent breakup that you can use if you’re unsure on how to do so. I’ve also included one, very important thing to NOT do, so stay tuned to the end, folks! You can use all of these tips, or you can use a few. Heck, you don’t have to use any if you don’t want to. I am, by no means, a relationship expert; these are just a few tips that have helped me in the past. At the end of the day, you’re the one who knows what will make you feel better.
Don’t. Be afraid. To cry. This is the most important one to remember. Just because you’re crying, it doesn’t make you less masculine. Also, crying doesn’t make you look like a baby. It makes you a human being with feelings. Regardless of the length of the relationship, there will be some amount of sadness, and you know what? No one wants to keep that bottled inside forever. Crying helps release those feelings out into the open to relieve you from feeling like crap. I cried for days following my breakup. I was with the kid for over a year and we were friends for years before that. You think I’m not going to cry? All in all, crying is okay. You don’t have to bury your feelings.
- Talk to your loved ones about it.
As soon as I got home from having my heart ripped in two, my dad pulled me into his arms and held me as I cried. An hour later, I changed my Facebook status to single, and everyone now knew about my recent breakup. I had a friend—whom I wasn’t super-duper close with but we were pretty good friends—call me and ask if I was okay. All she heard from me were sobs and sniffles. Next thing you know, she shows up at my doorstep with ice cream and tissues. That’s love right there, man. Lean on people that you know won’t judge you for having rivers flow out your eyes and blowing snot bubbles as you cry. Having friends and family to lean on during this time will make you feel better, and you’ll know you’re still loved.
- Block them on social media.
Now, this may seem petty, but it helps. Whatever social media you follow them on, unfriend, block, delete, do it all. This will prevent you from constantly going on their accounts and looking at pictures of the two of you and just no, stop. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200. You don’t want to be known as the person that stalks their ex and spends hours looking at their photo albums on Facebook or their tweets on Twitter. It’s going to take time, but you’ll get used to it.
- Channel your feelings by trying something new.
Sometimes, in the event of a breakup, you find that you want some new spark in your life. Take up a new hobby! Find something interesting and focus on that. And this doesn’t necessarily have to be a hobby. It can be something new to you, whether you decide change up your current style, try a new hairdo/hair color, etc. In the words of Donna and Tom from Parks and Recreation (RIP), “TREAT YOSELF.” In the end, you’ll become a new and improved you (not saying the current you isn’t already awesome, you’ll just become more awesome).
- Don’t blame yourself. Remind yourself that you’ll be okay.
Because of the way my breakup happened, I turned it into a learning experience for the future. Instead of feeling like I was to blame, I thought about how everything happens for a reason. I told myself: “Chin up kid, your gray skies will clear up soon enough.” Did they? Heck yeah! Maybe you thought this person was going to be your soulmate, your lifelong partner—like I did. And that’s okay! As much as you want to see this as the end, trust me, this is only the beginning for you my friend. There’s much more to come.
Now that we’ve conquered what you should do, here’s the NUMBER ONE THING NO ONE SHOULD EVER DO AFTER A RECENT BREAKUP:
- DON’T TALK BAD ABOUT THEM
No matter who broke up with who, no matter how the relationship ended, no matter how the overall relationship was, do not—for the love of all that is good in the world—say bad things about your ex. If they come up in conversation, cool! Make your reply short, sweet and to the point. As angry/upset as you may be, don’t paint them in a bad light. If they do that to you, that’s bad character on their part. Even if you feel like you want to get your friends to hate them, that’s bad on your part. As a result, they’ll probably see you as a bitter person. In conclusion, be the stronger person, even if it’s hard.
As hard as a recent breakup can be, there are ways to get through it, and it’ll get better with time, I promise.
Do you have tips for handling a recent breakup? Let us know by tweeting us @Fuzzable!